Tuesday, 13 May 2014

My dearest Clarence (commonly known as Clare), what do you do if you get a child like Adam?...

The answer if i'm not mistaken is "shove it back up and ask for a refund", which is possibly a very sensible idea... unless you want a queen of not only drag but also drama eating away at your life. What am i watching you may ask? But then you already know the answer... or do you. Gilmore Girls was your first guess, and as a staple in my life you will always strike gold with that, but i can't deny that there comes a time when you have say "Oi with the poodles already!" and look for something else to watch for a while. Not that Gilmore Girls isn't great, there's no deny that it's completely ridiculous but yet great none the less. It's the kind of ultimate insanity that most of us hate to admit we kind of secretly wish actually exists. If you haven't watched it, you should. Take my word on it, you can hate me for it later, but just go with it for now and it may even be worth your while. (I'm not talking to you Clare i know that you've been subject to a fair amount of the epic madness... maybe not quite enough, but we're getting there. But to all of the rest of you... if there's anyone else out there, lurking in the abyss, i'm talking to you.)

So i may be just a tiny bit behind the rest of the universe, but twas only just the other day that i finally felt the urge to jump down the street 21 times, and horror of all horrors, calamity of all calamities... it wasn't bad. Beyond that it was pretty epic. I must admit that it is kind of satisfying to watch a film where the Jonah Hill of the world gets to show up the Channing Tatum. Finally there's  some inkling of a balance (small though it may be), for one high school isn't just the popular jock kids getting the girls and making everyone else life hell. And on top of that the so called "jock" stereotype played oh so well by Mr Tatum manages to actually get his head round the actual knowing of things... dun dun duuuuuun! The appearance of Johnny Depp was a slight confuzdication until i engaged brain (Johnny Depp = old 21 Jump Street... bringing him in connects the predecessor to the successor - e.g. new 21 Jump Street.) All in all it was a pretty epic film and i must admit i am kind of looking forward to the arrival of 22 Jump Street. Sad times that young Neil died after only five minutes of glory but i guess it was all for the greater good of the film. The amount that they say "Infiltrate the suppliers, find the source." was some what reminiscent of fight club... what's the first rule of fight club Clare?

Other than that the only news that i have to give is that i still don't think Stannis Baratheon is the one true King of Westeros. (Game of Thrones for those who don't know) I've been busy catching up on season three and i am pleased to inform you that i am now fully qualified to move on to season four. There's not much to say on that front without things getting convoluted and confusing, especially considering that to the best of my knowledge you do not partake in the Game of Thrones craze so trying to explain would be fruitless and probably very painful (for either me or you, i'm not sure... maybe both?) but probably not as painful as being flayed... however that is an entirely different conversation. So let me just say this; Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) is by far the best character, it's sooo true that height isn't everything cos he kicks ass despite only cumming up to most peoples waist and maybe not even that. Tywin is annoying but you have to admit he knows how to play the game, plus it's proven impossible to actually hate Charles Dance. But in general i think i'm gonna stick with voting for Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) cos lets face it, she has dragons... and she's a woman (i feel like i'm long overdue for some feminist stuff... does that count?)

So there we have it ladies and gentlemen, Clare and Clarence... updates complete.

Over and out.


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